Today I celebrate 21 years of marriage to my perfect match and I thought it appropriate to review a book on compatibility. Since I haven’t read it yet, my good friend and writing buddy, Claire,  has offered to be a guest blogger. I know that God is working on Claire’s perfect match. She deserves someone special.

Book Review of  More Than a Match

By Claire

The title of the book attracted me. More Than a Match: The 5 Keys to Compatibility for Life. While I’m not in a relationship, I was looking for advice on how to evaluate potential guys. What things should I look for? Are there things that would clash with my personality. I was looking for something deeper than the obvious. I.e. faith, finances and children.

I was disappointed to find that More Than a Match for the most part only covers the obvious. This is a great book for someone who isn’t a believer, a new Christian or just hasn’t given much thought to the basics.

I did disagree with how the authors dealt with two issues. The first was their attitude about dating. At one point they said, “Amy and I share the philosophy that dating is a good thing, even for teens in high school…” And later, “Dating is your opportunity to have a relatively emotionally intimate relationship with someone before you commit to a lifetime of marriage.”

Encouraging teens to develop emotionally intimate relationships before they are able to follow through with marriage is setting them up for major physical temptation. Look at teen pregnancy, even within the church.

I agree that dating is a great way to evaluate a potential spouse, but developing emotionally intimate relationships before you’re ready or willing to marry can lead to unnecessary heartbreak. You aren’t honoring someone of the opposite sex if you date them, even though you have no intention of marrying anytime soon.

My other issue with the authors was how they handled the controversial issue of the man being the leader in the home. Rather than quoting scripture, they quoted the following line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. “The man might be the head of the family, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants.”

Here is an issue clearly addressed in scripture, and the authors turn to a secular movie. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” Now that doesn’t mean that the man can simply do whatever he wants, and the wife has to go along. Later in the same chapter Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (verse 25).

I was disappointed they glossed over this issue, especially when it so clearly address in scripture.

One chapter I did appreciate was their frank, but not in your face, discussion of a couple’s honeymoon. As someone who has saved myself for marriage, I found their chapter on this helpful and made me think about things I hadn’t thought of before.

While I’m sure people have found More Than a Match insightful, I was, for the most part, disappointed. The book had little to do with compatibility (although the title makes you think that’s what its all about), and they glossed over important issues. I wish Michael and Amy Smalley the best, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend their book.

This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.