Jesus said to come as little children, so it was with crayon in my hand that I began reading The Gospel According to Moses –What my Jewish Friends Taught me About Jesus by award-winning novelist Athol Dickson.

You see, my son rarely used his crayons when he was little so I have quite a few of them in my house and I thought I’d put them to good use. They are very handy as highlighters. Maybe not as professional looking, but they still highlight the text I think is important. And let me say, there were many such texts in this book.

Mr. Dickson was invited to attend Chever Torah (Bible study) at the Reform Jewish temple and accepted, after all, novelist Tom Clancy said, “One hallmark of intellectual honesty is the solicitation of opposing points of view.” In his studies he learned that God loves an honest question and his first question was if he may ask. And the answer was, “Asking is not doubting. It is trusting.”

And he says his intent was not to proselytize but  he also didn’t want to leave the reader untouched. And he certainly didn’t leave me untouched. For reasons I can’t explain, somewhere in chapter eleven I began to weep. Not silent tears, but deep sobs. And I couldn’t stop. I read the remainder of the book through a veil of tears.

The funny thing is, the author said early on how a painting made him weep, and I thought, that has never happened to me, and yet by the end of the book I was crying.

When I finished reading, I had to rush to get a shower because I had a hair appointment at 9:15(Saturday morning). I cried while I took the shower and cried while I dressed. I was trying to think of ways to stop the flow of tears, but couldn’t. I didn’t want to bawl as my hairdresser did her thing. Fortunately, I was able to pull it together, but those early morning tears wiped me out for the rest of the day. But I don’t regret them one bit.

I don’t cry often or that easily. It had been months–many months since my last cry. My friend said that tears are God’s pressure release valve. I needed those tears yesterday. And again, I felt I came to Jesus as a little child bawling her eyes out.

This is probably the most meaningful and profound book I’ve read in a long time. (I look forward to reading some of the author’s novels–I’ll definitely report back on them later.)

Matthew 18:2-4 (New International Version)

2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.